Back Pew Silence

It's been a windy day here today. The leaves on the trees in my yard are twitching around in delightful movement as God tickles them with His breath. The pears are shaking around with juiciful fullness and some of them decided to plunge to their destiny and remind me that God provides in a myriad of ways that we sometimes fail to see because our blinders of life's pressures block us from seeing His daily work around us.

My wife, Barbara, is cooking pies and cupcakes in the kitchen for one of her social organization's booth at a local weekend community celebration. The house is filled with the sensuous fragrances of God's fruits of labor being diversified into sustenance for others to enjoy.

Meanwhile, many are anxious about the hurricane coming to Florida and potentially careening its way of devastation into their weekend plans. In Russia, the souls of her children are rising to the One who created them in love and eradicated by the whirlwind of real evil that permeates the hearts of those who know not what they do.

Also, today, a friend loaned us a copy of "The Passion of Christ" to watch tonight or tomorrow in the leisure of our schedule for the next day or so.

I'm already crying--even before I plug it into the VCR.

Not having yet seen it either at the theater or at home, I'm uncomfortable prior to viewing the film. All of what I've read about it has primed me for emotional spurts that will cry out because of the Savior's agony suffered for the winds of darkness that blow through our hearts and actions.

Today's news still speaks of why He went through what He did for us. What a wretched people we are within the depths of our being. Those who don't see the depth of their own evil continue to make it extremely rough for those who walk a different line of life within themselves.

They are part and parcel of the winds of adversity that blow across our history and leave millions in destroyed paths of dreams and hopes. They have become spiritual hurricanes that leave paths of havoc among the spiritual habitations of others.

Those who actually can envision and recognize the depth of wretchedness and snuff the movement towards further evil within themselves are the ones who start a revolution of lighting a candle in the darkness for all those who live, breathe, and move around them.

They then see God in the wind around them. They see love instead of hate. They see others as more important than themselves and their former selfish agendas. They see hope rather than futility all around them.

Instead of the sacrifice of children's lives for their evil thoughts, they prefer a pear falling from a tree as a sacrifice from God for their well-being and needs.

The longsuffering of God is in the tickle of the tree leaves in my yard as He is in the Florida coastline and the Russian gymnasium.

I cry tears of joy for where I geographically sit and tears of sorrow for those areas going through another set of circumstance at this moment.

Watching "The Passion" will remind me of the same, I'm sure. As I watch, though, it will be important for me to remember that Christ actually went through the horror of His last few hours and felt all of the pain, hurt, and rejection that befell Him in those moments of dying for the salvation of a sinful and evil world.

I prefer a God who knows my pain and suffering through real experience rather than one who could only talk about it. When I actually do see the depth of my own wretchedness, it brings tears of sorrow to my eyes. When I see what Jesus went through because of my condition and I also see why He went through what He did, it brings me tears of joy that He provided me a way to overcome the hurricanes of my own listing spirit.

One of the messages of the Cross is that we do not bear our burdens alone. In return, we are to bear one another's burdens. There's a lot of burdens to bear today.

After spending so many years of gathering ideas, theories, and facts, I find that as I get chronologically older, I spend more time discarding some of the fruitless items I've clung to and boiling it all down to some truths that continue to stick no matter the circumstance or incident.

As a youngster in faith many years ago, I was taught that if I believed correctly, then life would flow with special blessings and I would reap the harvest of the good in the world as a result. I haven't always found this to be true as I look back on the years I've travelled since.

As I read the great "Faith" chapter of Hebrews 11, I see that many blessings did flow to those mentioned in the first 35 verses. But from the 36th verse on, there have been many faithful who did not receive the same in return as those mentioned earlier. Tis true that the promises not yet seen by all of them are available in the long run, but some were sawn in half, wandered in the deserts, stoned to death, imprisoned and scourged, slain by the sword, destitute, afflicted, and tormented for their faith.

Grace was provided to all even though each of their trials were different in form. God also provided something better for all of them in the end.

So, I have to burn up the sacred cow taught to me that when God's in His Heaven, all is right with the world. Those brave believers mentioned in the 36th verse on certainly didn't find an alright world for themselves as they went into death and abandonment for their faith.

From the ashes of my barbecuing of this sacred cow, I do see that what is more important throughout it all is the maintaining of a strong faith in God's promises whether life is good or evil in actual experience.

It really emphasizes the statement made by Jesus that the world hates Him. That's one truth that remains true no matter how many times one turns it over on the barbecue spit and tries to burn it into oblivion.

Although many of us in the Western Hemisphere enjoy the ease of going to Sunday service decked out in our Sunday best or go to our coffeehouse meeting in casual dress to discuss God's blessings, there are many in other parts of the world who are being sought out and slain for their same faith in God's blessings.

Some of us live in comfort while others are going through "tribulation" for the same promise to us in the end.

As I carry the carcass of my burnt sacred cow to its final resting place, I pray for those who are still going through the kinds of horrors that the 36th and 37th verses of Hebrews 11 tell us of how it will be for some of us who turn to God for Truth.

On a perspective scale, I'm fortunate compared to those dying for their present faith. Although I rant and rail at times about how difficult life is for me, God has blessed me more than I realize.

May the Lord continue to "grill" me in His ways!

I have a brother who returned from Viet Nam years ago with a Purple Heart, a Bronze Star, and a monkey on his back. He came back with a worship of a false god in the form of a drug. That drug god is his life and he serves him every day in order to alleviate the nightmares from seeing too much of life's dark side.

He gives allegiance to his god by accepting him into his body and soul and letting this god take over for the rest of the day so that he can feel as if he is okay for the moment. My brother accepts the highs and the lows of his daily excursions as a payoff in worship to this false form of deity.

He seeks his god every day. He accepts that his god will provide relief for him. He knows that his god is always available if he looks in the right circles. In the rare moments when his god seems to have gone away, my brother knows that eventually he will show up again and give him the solace he thinks he finds in him.

My brother suffers at times for his god. He craves his god when times are hard and his god appears to have left him in a bad spot. He goes through withdrawals when his god is not there for him; but when his god shows up finally, my brother lights up in a kind of supposed joy after his "answer" comes and enters into his existence once more.

My brother fears no evil as a result. He accepts the "bad" that comes along with the "good" that he rationalizes is there for him. I've seen him walk through the valley of the shadow of death on more than one occasion with no hint of insecurity or loss.

I, on the other hand, worship a "True" God. If you substitute my version of God in the above paragraphs for my brother's god, I am to approach my God in similar manner.

Although one leads to life and the other leads to death, both of our deities speak to us in terms that we both accept as our situations at present. There are obvious differences, though. My God loves my brother more than he realizes at the moment; his god doesn't care one way or the other. My God died for him while he is yet in his "far off" venture; his god will eventually kill him.

My God is Eternal and Everlasting; his god is temporary in relief. My Deity speaks of hope; his speaks of illusionary pretense. My God wants to move me beyond death; his god will bring him to death and then stop there.

If there's any lesson I might be able to apply to my own walk with my God of choice in this comparison, it is that I continue to be as sincere in my walk with Him that my brother is with his. He puts out great energy to find and hold his god within his daily grasp.

May I do the same with mine. I pray daily for my brother.

When I take the beam out of my own eye and focus on what I really am in essence, it's scary to also see that I have the capacity to be good---much more good than what my "comfortable self" wants to acknowledge at times.

With that "good" comes a disruptive idea that I then must do something with it towards others more than towards myself. This message seems to be contrary to what I've been taught in society to be a worthy one.

It's so much easier for me to hang onto the "bad" I see in me and make it a center of focus to which my life can revolve around and gain "meaning" to my walk in life. We all like sympathy from others towards our misfortunes and circumstances. It makes us important for the moment. It feeds the "self" that doesn't want to move beyond what we deem as something that gives us definition.

What if, by seeing the dichotomy of good and evil within myself, I then become closer to my true being rather than lying to myself about my current "self's" pretense of being real?

If I then decide to see this new definition of "self" as true and correct, I then am put in a position of forgiving you for the motes you carry around. I have to rise up to another way of living that isn't "comfortable" right now in my present condition.

I'd have to call a partial truce with you and surrender my self-pity, anger, hypocrisy, and finger-pointing. This new "good" I see would require me to act in good favor towards your own "true self." I'd have to do acts that would possibly break through your own "comfortable self" and assist you in seeing another viewpoint about all of us who walk together in the community of humanness.

It's only because of recognizing the beam in my own eye that I can see the mote in yours. That beam I carry requires so much more forgiveness than does your mote. Forgiveness, Humility, Faith, and Trust cleans me out to where I then see a more-defined picture of the "good" in me that can then be projected and acted upon towards you.

Maybe the reason some of us do not move towards a clearer picture of our true standing in God's eyes is that we would then have to come out of our own Egypt and work in conjunction towards each other in a spirit of comraderie about what our true situation is. We would have to carry each others burden even in the wilderness and share manna on a daily basis rather than to hoard it for own needs---something TV commercials don't expound on very much.

I notice that there isn't a hole in our body that we don't stick something into--based on TV commercial philosophy. It keeps me entrenched into the idea of "comfortable self" and constantly reinforces a diversion from looking to another way of living life. Maybe that way of living 24/7 is an "evil" that deters me from experiencing the "good" that is also within me. It paralyzes me from looking to those scary thoughts that I may be actually worth more than I realize at the moment.

I've become accustomed to being brainwashed by the media messages all around me. It's time to become enmeshed into the "other message" that's also around me. Love permeates the Universe and spreads itself into a glory that is seen by those who want to see it.

Lord, please let me grasp that other definition that seems to be so scary at times. Let me remove myself from "self" and enter into your "True Self." Teach me to trust in your vision much more than my own.

In other words, help me to change the channel!

Sometimes, I have to keep in perspective that the jug of love that God pours on all of us is an endless jug that never stops flowing. I have to also remember that I am not the jug--I am the riverbed that He continues to pour into.

As a tree planted by the waters of the river, when my leaves begin to wilt, my roots need to drink deep of the sustenance He provides through His endless pursuit to let me know that I am in His spiritual environment and worthy to be quenched by His outpouring.

When I hear only silence after prayer, maybe He's providing me a lesson to trust in Him. Maybe, also, He's showing me the virtue of His longsuffering. It could be, too, that He is teaching me patience as the silence unfolds itself towards the eventual progression of His answer for me in due time.

That silence sometimes can ferment within me the desire to want to pull up my roots and it creates the onset of wilting leaves because of my lack of trust at times and my impatience in wanting an answer now.

It shows my disbelief in His longsuffering manner with me. The "I" in me wants immediate results and directions and is analogous to a "fast-food" prayer request that hasn't time to wait very long for the seven course meal around the corner.

When I read the Book of His interaction with the world, I see that He who led will always lead. He who delivered will always deliver. He who loved will always love. He who listens always provides an answer.

Like the dead sponge that gave its life up and fulfilled itself by giving the Savior a last drink before His death on the Cross, I must also give my empty self to Him for His fulfillment.

In return, He continues to fill the riverbed of my life with His endless flow of rejuvenating Love.

In the background of my silence after prayer, I hear the torrent of watery love coming from the clouds that are above me.

He is still leading the way!

I'm going through a really difficult time of pressures from ungrace lately as the result of a terrible situation from almost 25 years ago. There's nothing I can do to change the outcome, although it's been behind me now for a long time.

The good thing about it all, though, is that it pushes me closer and closer to God for any kind of peace within myself. God hangs around social outcasts and social lepers and gives them a second chance while those with stones in hand scream out for separation.

Even though I was eventually found to be not guilty of the situation through following the court's direction, I'm still going through repercussions. As a result, I've lost any trust in the justice system and those who keep changing the rules to fit their own political agendas.

May the Lord give me strength to carry on in the responsible and lawful manner that I have been doing for the last 2-plus decades.

In looking back at patterns in my life, I see that in instances to where I was the most broken and contrite in spirit during situations that were way beyond my capacity to influence or build any actions towards solving the problem at hand, that is when God moved in and solved the dilemma for me.

Answers and solutions seemed to come out of nowhere at the time. On the other hand, when I still had what I considered to be a say in the situation or a "workable" way out of my own efforts, many of the problems were not resolved in what I would consider as satisfactory and fulfilling resolutions.

This is not to say that I couldn't solve some of the minor situations by myself, but, the bigger and more overwhelming circumstances have been ones that I could see no effort on my part as being capable of whittling the present dilemma into any kind of proper tackling.

It tells me that when I get into the proper position of relying solely on God for answers, He delivers. When I get out of myself and into Him, He takes over.

That, to me, is what prayer is in essence---getting out of me and my problems and into Him.

Potters do so much better at creating than clay does.

The next time someone calls me a "turkey," I'm going to take it as an extremely high compliment and an indicator that my evolutionary process is coming along just fine.

You see, as a human being, I have 46 chromosomes that genetically define me, but if I were a turkey, I'd have 82 chromosomes to make up my structure. This increase in chromosomes would verify that, as a turkey, I have evolved beyond the mere 46 chromosomes that make up us simple human beings.

Since the evolution theory would support the idea that living matter becomes more complex as time goes on, these additions in chromosomes would be the end result of millions of years of experimenting to increase complexity in living organisms.

In fact, if I could just add 2 more chromosomes to my present genetic structure, I'll be able to move up to the levels of a chimpanzee and a tobacco plant. Both of these two different items have 48 chromosomes each.

With the help of a Past Life Counselor, I went way back to a long time ago when I had only 14 chromosomes and I was a garden pea. My dreams at that time were to add more size to myself and become fiercer in the world. After all, being a helpless little garden pea wasn't going to get me very far in the struggle to dominate the environment around me.

Through time, though, I somehow added 4 more chromosomes for a total of 18 and I became a head of lettuce.

It made me feel a whole lot better about myself as a result--as you can probably imagine. I was bulkier and could claim more space for myself. It was a very dizzy experience getting there, though, because when I got to 16 chromosomes, the halfway point to becoming a head of lettuce, I turned into a honeybee for awhile.

That was definitely an experience, believe me! I was larger than my old green pea self and had a lot more movement, for sure, but I really wanted to bulk out and be more intimidating in the garden I grew up in.

They say "where there's a will, there's a way," so I kept up the struggle to become higher in chromosomal form and I eventually did reach my goal.

As time went on, I got tired of being lettuce and wanted to carry forth a new vision for the world by becoming even more fierce in form. I had intellectually evolved within myself to the point where I realized that lettuce really wasn't going to take over the world by storm.

I had a revelation that centuries down the road, my present form would be rounded up and destroyed in the gulags of the salad bars in the future. I saw this as weakness in the years to come--to be subjected to cannibalization that would one day approach my people.

I utilized all my resources both within and without my very being until I evolved to where I was now a creature with 32 chromosomes. I was in a double bind at this point, though. I had the choice here to either become an alligator, who was definitely intimidating and bold even to this present day, or I could become an onion.

Although not very large in physical structure, an onion can make the world cry out in pain with the biting and pungent spirit it releases to those who try to peel its soul from protective layers forming it.

Some of my ancestors combined the two distinct attributes of the onion and the alligator and have remained, even to this day, in that same combination of unity. This explains why some people cry when a wild alligator is chasing them in a swamp or a bayou.

Those millions of years it took for me to get to the 46-chromosome level and become a human being seemed to go fast when I looked back on it. With the help of my Past Life Counselor, I could also see that there are more complex organisms around me who are light-years ahead of my present status.

I guess, as a human being, the theory of evolution we humans created for ouselves just doesn't support our seniority and top-of-the-rung status these days. As science keeps getting further into the secrets of the universe, it appears there are many more creatures around us who have added much more chromosomal structure to their inner workings than we humans can really accept in comparison.

I've been taught for years than an amoeba is a simple organism and falls back to the end of the line when it comes to the history of early life beginnings on Earth. But it's now known that amoebas have 50 chromosomes in their genetic makeup. That's 4 more than us Homo Sapien rulers of the planet.

I don't know if I'll be able to handle the idea of moving forward four chromosomes in advancement and turning into an organism that I've always looked at as totally inferior to myself for so many years. The Good Book says that it is better to be a living dog than a dead lion, so I'll have to accept that as a truth and move toward the evolutionary steps of progress as they arise.

I'll have to discuss my feelings about this upcoming predicament with those identical triplets with 78 chromosomes--the chicken, the dog, and the duck--and see how they worked their way through the dilemma coming up for me. They've had centuries to resolve their feelings about it and time puts all things in perspective, I'm told.

I betcha they had it all in proper perspective by the time they hit 60 chromosomes and became cows.

Well, because chromosomes in living matter are one of the most complex bits of known matter in the universe, it is logical to assume that organisms withe least number were the first to evolve, otherwise, the theory of evolution just doesn't add up in its logic and conclusions.

It's time for me to go on a spiritual sojourn or a "Vision Quest" to seek the truth of all this conjecture in theory, I guess. That guru, the sweet potato, with 90 chromosomes, should be able to give me some good insight all this.

Somewhere along the journey, I'll stop in at the Royal Pond and get the highly-regarded views of the highly-chromosomed carp. With their 100 chromosomes, they should also know quite a bit about it.

I've designed my search for truth to end with a visit to the most heavily chromosomed life form on the planet. I want to bask in the shade of its truth and watch the winds of adversity comb its branches and see how it bends so gently to their whimpers in order to defeat the attacks they so ignorantly place within its grasp.

It will be the highlight of my soul search behind all this madness in theory. Oh, it will be pure bliss and awesome, reverence-inspired glory to sit at the feet of the ALMIGHTY FERN.

Four hundred and eighty chromosomes in magnificence and completeness! What a creation to be at the end of life's evolutionary path!

I can't wait to get there, myself, in a few million years from now.

Lately, the thoughts of "My grace is sufficient for you" and "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not toward your own understanding" have been the consistent responses I sense after I offer my prayers to God.

Those spiritual reminders are difficult for one like myself. Most of my life has been spent as a "doer" of activities more than as a "bystander." I can't recall ever trusting much of anything in the past with ALL of my heart. It's scary, too, to let go of "MY OWN" understanding and hand over my heart to another.

Apparently, God has different priorities than mine when it comes to His direction spoken within my inner sanctum. While I'm wandering around with what I would consider major problems and dilemmas to solve and get through, He's trying to get me back to the Garden.

As I spend time and energy on trying to fix whatever I deem as "vital" for my happiness and contentment, He's working on getting me a reserve seat for the Marriage Supper.

While I pound myself over and over with guilt about my past and fear towards the future, He's laying on thick layers of "Grace" over my soul like a healing balm.

God keeps ignoring "My" higher priorities in life and He keeps providing me with reminders and notices that "His" way works much better than mine. I guess if I trusted with ALL of my heart, I would drop my priority list and pick up His for application.

Since I lean towards my own understanding more than another way of doing it, it's a struggle to let go of those "comfortable shoes" of self-taught lessons that are worn out, no longer functional, proven to be out-of-date, and parked in the closet for memory's sake.

In a nutshell, it boils down to something like this:

1) In my own understanding, I get to continue to revel in guilt and fear, try to fix things in life with ideas and approaches that haven't produced much good fruit in the harvest of consequences, and I get to continue to decide what are the priorities of life in my wanderings around the dusty planet of my own interpretative measures; or:

2) I can trust in God with all of my heart, lean not towards my own understanding, and receive grace that is sufficient enough to place me into His priority list of what's really important in it all.

Not much of a difficult choice between the two ways of looking at it, wouldn't you say?

Some of us are more stubborn and set in our ways than others are. That's what my own understanding tells me anyway!

When I sit in silence and listen to to God, He calls me "Joe" when He gives me guidance and comfort. "Larry" is my first name but it's always been more of my formal name rather than my common name.

I'm known as "Joe" to my family and very close friends. "Larry" has been my identity at work, school, and community social gatherings.

I'm glad that God is close enough of a friend that He recognizes me as who I really am at heart. He also calls me "my child," and reminds me that I am a "son of God."

"Joe" is sentimental; "Larry" is more distant with people. "Joe" is sensitive; "Larry" tends to let emotions not get into his heart much when he's out and about.

"Joe" is loving with others; "Larry" puts on more of a facade of intellectual strength.

God loves "Larry," too.

"Larry" just needs to let that fact get beyond the walls around him and let it enter into his heart that "Joe" possesses.

God works to break the dividing line between both sides of myself and fuse my being into a new man that is of one heart and one mind towards His love and mercy.

"Joe" knows that. "Larry" is coming around.

Sometimes I find myself in a contest with God to where He takes the boulders of my sinful actions and buries them in the deepest part of His sea of love to where they are to never be remembered anymore and then I dive below and dredge them up again.

There must be some kind of false security on my part in wanting to not totally remove these parts of myself from my memory.

I keep trying to return to "justice" with myself while He keeps insisting on "Grace" as a much more beneficial manner of approach to my state of infallibility.

I'm glad His ways are not my ways. It's a losing battle for me in the long run and I'm sure that His intentions are for me to become a "graceful loser."

Anyone interested in purchasing a used scuba-diving suit?

Some days are easy to stay "on course" when it comes to maintaining some sort of "Christian conduct code" that alludes one to believe that God is in His Heaven; all's right with the world.

Other days, there's a creeping vine of inward hostility that tries to climb up the trunk of one's tree that is planted by the water and attempts to choke the forward movement into Grace and Love towards God, others, and self.

Today, the cashier at the grocery store counter said "Have a nice day!" after I paid for my groceries and started to wander back to my truck outside. My immediate thought after hearing her words were, "Don't tell me what to do!"

No telling what instigated this non-verbal response within the confines of my soul, but it's sure a gander into how I have some hostilities within that pop up spontaneously and without obvious reason for doing so.

At least I didn't verbalize the angry thought. Also, at the least, I recognized the seeds of an angry spirit inside me and diverted my direction towards One who has given resolution to overcoming the battle of flesh and spirit.

A small victory, but nonetheless, a victory! My history books are full of those who didn't "check" themselves when the small bouts of fleshly vines began to choke out their inner sanctum of God's garden of trees.
Molehills of anger spurts became mountains of hate that have colored our lineage with shameful bouts of fleshly thoughts becoming fleshly feelings and then becoming fleshly actions that killed others' spirits and bodies.

I'm sure glad that grace abounds much more than sin does! Even in the little corners of one's secret parts that cashiers can't hear!

I've been politically incorrect lately. I measured myself against God's plumbline and found myself to be "impure." Instead of it destroying my self-esteem and ego foundation, as the PC crowd would claim acceptance of such a comparison would cause to a healthy foundation, it brought me to a place to where I recognize that something outside of myself is the answer---not something within me.

As a result, it increased my gratitude for what God has done through His Son's death on the cross . Increase in gratitude towards God's provision in my state of impurity has been a much better resolution than any of the modern-day answers which want me to rely on my own inner strengths and efforts.

Paradoxically, my esteem has risen--not only in my eyes, but God's also. I esteem others higher than myself and come out okay. Now, my priorities are in this order: God--others--me.

Being last in this order of esteem, I rest much easier with myself and don't fret about everything having to revolve around my wants and needs.

Funny how that works--much more effective than a bunch of "will worship!"

The church service started promptly at 10 o'clock am and he was trying to get there on time in order to prove his devotion to God. The drive this morning was cluttered with traffic that was taking precious chunks of time away from his arrival that would verify his dedication to the congregational expectation that God shows up on time--and so should you.

As he waited for the light to turn green at an intersection hustling with hurting people who were not up to the "norm" of social doings, his impatience began to eat away at him as he harbored angry thoughts of how these wandering misfits were only hindering him from meeting his weekly Christian duty to the Lord.

All of a sudden, one of the misplaced souls hanging around the roadside approached his driver's window and asked him if he could spare a dollar or two for something to eat. The spirit within the pedestrian of life groaned in front of the now-frustrated driver as he further elaborated on how he hadn't eaten in two days and just needed a little help to sustain him for a little further of his own drive down the roadway of living.

'Can't you see that I'm in a hurry right now and wanting to meet my Lord and Savior on this late-running Sunday morning?" he told the desperate stranger. " God expects me to be on time to worship in His name and I have no time at this moment to assist you in your plight. God calls me to meet Him with all proper respect and timeliness in His meeting place, so I'll have to give you a rain-check on your request. "

The hungry man, used to hundreds of rejections in life, muttered the words, "I understand. Thanks anyway! The Lord be with you," and then he sat down on the curb with his broken spirit and tattered pride left over from all of the unfortunate incidents that had turned his life into one of helpessness for the moment.

As the light turned green, the motorist revved up his engine a bit more than usual and sped down the road knowing that he was only moment's away from the church front steps. Hurriedly, he weaved his way through the traffic menagerie until he hastily parked his car in the church parking lot and quickly shuffled his way into the Lord's house in just enough time to grab his favorite pew seat and get nestled in for his dose of the uplifting of the Lord.

He had made it with only seconds to spare before the service began right on time. He didn't want to miss any little bit of the pastor's sermon this week which had been announced in the church bulletin earlier.

The first song sung was "What a friend we have in Jesus." He especially liked the part of the song that spoke of "...all our sins and grief to bear." He thanked God that he had made it to the service on time and caused no grief to the protocol of the worship structure by walking in late and disrupting those who had their minds and hearts set to focus in on meeting their Lord and Savior for a few minutes.

The second song sung was " How firm a foundation" and as he sang, he reflected upon how settled in he was with Jesus because he had made it on time this morning as he always had each and every Sunday morning. He gave God the glory for guiding him to be here in His presence, although the outside world had almost created a black mark in his attendence record and timely fashion of showing up to meet Jesus on schedule.

After the song, the morning prayer focused in on how God smiles upon those who come to Him with a grateful heart and how he blesses those who have come to worship Him in this building today.

The pastor began his sermon on the Good Samaritan after the prayer was finished with all of the usual addendums of "Amen's " coming from the crowd of saints gathered together.The man listened intently as he heard the message of how we are to help those in need and how sometimes we have to go out of our way to accomplish this deed of Christian virtue. He agreed totally with the lesson taught.

He knew in his heart that he would help anyone at any time as long as it wasn't between 10 AM and Noon on Sunday mornings. He wouldn't want the Lord to be upset by his missing the assembly of the saints at the given time-slot.

Meanwhile, up in the third heaven, there was movement stirring as the angels designated a representative to aid the broken man still sitting on the curb at the busy intersection a few moment's away from the house of God.The spiritual representative was an angel in disguise--another misfit who happened to come across the hungry, broken-in-spirit man. He had a bit of extra food sustenance on hand and shared it with simple grace and nothing expected in return.

Back at the church, the final strains of "Amazing Grace" musically spread out over the congregation as they lent their voices in union towards the wrap-up of the worship service.

The third heaven angels looked down on the city and made note of the struggle between Grace and Law.The Good Samaritan out on the street wandered back into the crossroads of misfortune's intersection while the church participants resounded a final "Amen" before leaving the building to carry on with their lives.

Before the man could get back into his car to drive home to watch his favorite football team on TV, the Good Samaritan misfit had already added two more good deeds to his morning.

One showed Function over Form. The other showed Form over Function. One showed Grace. The other showed Law. One fed the hungry. The other fed his ego. One drove home the point of helping those in need. The other just drove home.

One lived in service to those in need although he was also needy in some ways. The other left the service and made mental note to leave earlier the next Sunday in order to further fulfill his obligation to the Lord. One went to church. The other was the Church.

Because of the substance and comprehensiveness of grace, God still loved them both. Just as He loved the seven churches of Asia and made note of their strengths and weaknesses through a Patmos writing.

Grace is much more vast than Law ever could know. Any Philadelphian in a crowd of strangers could tell you that. Even more than that, they might even show it without notice and coming from out of nowhere.

The 10 AM to Noon time-slot on Sunday morning wouldn't even stop them from spreading some of it around.

Since Planet Earth is my present home, I'm homeschooled. Everything I've learned has been a result of hanging around this third stone from the Sun for almost 55 years now.

Sir Isaac Newton said, " I do not know what I may appear to the world; but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the seashore, and diverting himself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me."

I still see through a glass darkly on many things, but I do claim to have found some reasonable conclusions about certain aspects of this physical venture I'm currently travelling. I like seeking, but finding is so much better. One thing I like about seeking is that it contains the element of hope within its very process.

I would be extremely disheartened if there were no hope in my search for meaning as it would lead me to a life of continuous uncertainty. I have paid an exhorbitant price at times in my search for truth. It's cost me such wages as admitting I'm wrong at times; it's attacked my pride in that what I've sometimes claimed to be "correct" turned out to be, in fact, "error;" it's caused my mind to change on many occasions which created "humble pie" situations for me; and it's eventually led me to see that in this huge universe of knowledge and facts, I know very little when weighed against the mass of truth that is undiscovered still by my finite brain.

Somewhere in the scriptures, there is a verse that alludes to the idea that much learning brings much sorrow. Another verse in there hits upon the point that there is no end to knowledge.

In my opinion, this gives a partial credence to the Christian mention of "resting in His Truth." By faith, I latch onto the Answer given to the world that provides a solution through the seemingly futility of physical death.
It also gives comfort to the burdens of guilt, fear, and shame that don't seem to be addressed in much of a positive manner for those of us who are at times enveloped in those negative traps.

It also shows me that there is a Love much greater than I can envision that will fulfill all of the needs I do have in that area of my well-being.

Since God's ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts, I'll rest knowing that the more pebbles and shells I discover along the way will bring me a little bit deeper into the undiscovered ocean of truth that God has full awareness of in His omnipotence and omniscience.

It's a win-win situation. Knowing that I will never be able to absorb or discover it all in my present state of being specifically points me to rest during the search and enjoy each discovery as it comes along.

Homeschooling has its reward!